me being me

From the minute I found out I was pregnant, all I wanted to do was read as much as I can about pregnancy.Aside from Molly, I really haven't had anyone close to me go through a pregnancy(at least not during the years where I would think to pay attention to the pregnancy). In short, I'm clueless.

So when Barb handed me that white shiny book, a wave of relief washed over me. With a book full of facts, I felt in control. And anyone who knows me knows how much I need to be in control.

Now, I'm not naïve enough to think a few books will rule out all the elements of surprise in the next 9 months (and 10 and 11 and 12...). I know there aren't enough books in the world to totally prepare me for this. But it was the little things, like learning how many extra servings of calcium I need a day or what to do if I wake up feeling like I'm going to be sick. Learning small ways to take it one day at a time and do the best things I can for my little peanut is exactly what I needed.

So, I read the first 100 pages of my white shiny book. When I got to the sentence: "Your pregnancy is heading for its conclusion. Your baby is about to arrive. With your labor day close at hand, the day-to-day changes of your pregnancy soon will be a distant memory" - I decided I had probably read far enough for one night :).

One day closer to the big move-in day!!

First Appointment

Today we went in for our first official baby appointment. We didn't see the doctor yet, but we did get to meet the RN, Barb, who I hope we get to see a lot more of. It was nice to put a face with the lady who was first to tell us that we were expecting :). I was relieved to get a wealth of handouts filled with information and a book from her, all of which I plan on settling down with in the coming days.

The most frustrating part of the visit was not finding out when exactly the baby is expected to arrive! Due to complications I won't bore you with now, the baby could be anywhere from 4 to 6 weeks old. We set a tentative due date at April 5 and an appointment for an early sonnogram August 11 to (hopefully) find out for sure! That's also the day of our first visit with our doctor.

The excitement is really starting to set in now, for the both of us I think. I think I will be much more at ease once we tell our families (I'm not a big fan of secrets, especially not secrets this big!) But, we also want to tell everyone at the same time and most importantly, in person, so I know we have to wait until next weekend when the family comes up for our big move. I hope everyone is just as excited about the baby as we are!

Day One (quite literally)

Well, we just found out that a little one is on the way a few hours ago. After a near constant nagging by Angie all weekend, I started to wonder if it was possible that I was, in fact, pregnant. I've been feeling faint lately and getting tired mid-afternoon for no reason at all. So finally yesterday I braved up and went through the line with a test in hand. The look on the clerk's face was one that will be remembered: a mixture of hope, sympathy, and happiness. I'm sure the look on my face didn't help her much as to which she should be showing.

I wasn't sure how to feel about the possibility. Travis and I have talked about having a baby quite often, more and more in the recent months. But we were thinking a few months down the line, not now, not this point in time. Regardless, I knew I needed to know.

So this morning I took that test I've seen so many take on T.V. Travis and I sat on the couch waiting for the two minutes to pass. Finally the time came and Travis rushed in, looked down at the test and smiled. "Looks like you're pregnant to me." Even after looking at the test myself, I couldn't really wrap my mind around it. A million thoughts were flooding through my mind and I wasn't exactly sure how I should be feeling. Excited beyond belief. Full of love for my husband. Scared enough to pee again. Nervous for the months ahead. Wondering what the hell I'm supposed to do now.

I shook off the shock enough to call the doctor and set up a blood test to confirm. Travis, being the amazing husband he is, was more than willing to accompany me (and drive because well, I was still a bit shaky). In a matter of minutes we were in and out and on our way back home. The awesome nurse at the office put the test on the fast track to get the results to us asap. They said it'd be a four hour wait, but two hours later -- at 12:58, in fact -- they called with the news.

"I think -- I mean I hope -- I have good news for you, Sara," Barb the nurse said.
"Yeah?" I said. Stupid I know, but that's all I could give her at the moment.
"It is confirmed; you're pregnant!"

I thanked her a few times, said a few more stupid things, managed to make an appointment to come in the next day and hung up the phone. Again, the millions of thoughts rushed through my mind. But then, a steady, calm, and reassuring glance from Travis washed it all away. His face was beaming and his eyes danced. A long hard hug in the middle of the living room was all I needed. A baby is coming. I am excited. The rest will work itself out.